Boy, I gotta tell you that all that stuff you hear in "Santa's workshop" books when you are a kid, pertaining to elves I mean, was a load of hooey. I guess there COULD be laughing, jolly little guys and gals who whack out toys 24 hours a day for less wages then Kathy Lee pays for a garment bag but my experience is something else! You have to excuse me but Der Elf is starting to get on my nerves with this whole "Christmas Downer" thing. I mean I will be elbows deep in "Blue" tomorrow and Larry Bacon has told me I will be "hating life" (and cursing Henry Ford's ghost) by the end of the day. So where is my cheerful friend in the striped shirt? Still sulking with Doritos and his own impromptu Steve McQueen film festival (not that I have any problem with that of course). At last count he was on his third flat of lunch size chips and his third time through "The Great Escape".
You can also forget about all this Tolkien, pristine "shiny armor...ooo I love to clean" stuff as well, the shop is strewn with peanut shells and red bull cans. Who's going to clean that up is what I want to know! I'm too busy getting ready to head off to San Bernardino county for the first time in 20 years to deal with a surly mythical assistant! I say MYTHICAL only so the guys in the white "Tuck and roll" panel delivery don't come and get me, anybody who has been around Der Elf after he eats Bratwurst will believe he exists!
I have tried to be understanding about all this. The weather is closing in and the occasional cloudy day made me think that he might have SAD (Seasonal Adjusted Disorder) so I got "full spectrum" bulbs for the shop, only to find them in the dumpster after a week, he said they were screwing up his tan lines.
Labels: 2002, Blue, Der Elf